It's been very chilly today and a lot of people have been abuzz about one thing; snow! It's calling for around 5-10 inches here, but I've heard reports as high as over a foot. It's already snowing here (nothing too major), but I'm excited for the snow, well if it had come later that would've been better.


I was going to go out this evening with two of my best friends that I haven't seen in uh...three or four months. However, with the snow we have to postpone our plans to another day. We were going to go and see Avatar in theatres, but before that we were going to head to our favorite Japanese food place. Ah I could taste the delicious Miso soup, see the sushi, and I was hypnotized. Oh well, Japanese indulgences will have to wait <3 Well, more importantly getting together with friends.


I have an official job now, subbing! I've only managed to work at the middle school so far (but my frequent calls will get through the elementary school, bwahh), and it's been an experience. One thing I've learned is that a lot of the things they teach in education classes really is for the birds. Haha...even the teachers I've talked to had the same opinion. One of the subs is very well respected because she knows what she's doing. She's been really great in giving me advice and loaned me a book to read, "Cooperative Discipline". I love it so far because its realistic, down to earth and for once it looks at every angle and focuses more on the individual.


My christmas break has been great so far, but there's a lot of people I miss too. Still, I'm enjoying my family and visiting old friends (some I haven't seen in a long time). I've been pretty busy too, running errands making candy and goodies, selling eggs, and doing odds and ends. Life is good, God is amazing =)

I've finished my final paper so all that's left is to turn in tomorrow morning and I'm good to go. I'm really excited for this semester to be over and I really look forward to Christmas. I'm sad that I won't see a lot of my friends for three weeks, but I know I'll be seeing a couple over break which is super exciting.
Now I'm just chilling in my room and packing stuff to get it out of the way. I'm not sure when I'm leaving...either tomorrow or Friday, but I'm thinking it's not going to be until Friday. Hm...until then I'm also giving the room a good cleaning (vaccuum, dust, sweep...rearrange a few things...) and being thankful :)

I'm also feeling like a geek at the moment :P When I go home I plan on playing video games, going out for sushi with friends, watching anime with friends, reading manga and just being a nerd. I think I'm most excited about the sushi part and friends though :P

Of course I'm equally psyched to see my family, especially my mom, aunt and grandmas. I hope I can spend a good deal of time with my aunt over the break since she's awesome :) My paternal grandmother, well there's never a dull moment with her -_-. I'm looking forward to spending time with my other grandmother too since I haven't had much of a chance to see her in the last four months. My mom...she'll stalk me less. Seriously, 16 texts in 20 minutes is just insane...and that's not counting the times I'll get a jumble of 5-6 emails, texts, voice mails and calls. Anyways

I still have some christmas gifts for family to buy and two gifts for my friends back home and a couple of christmas cards to send out. I think this semester has been really positive for me and I feel like a new person in a way, or rather a better person :) And of course, it's all because of God :D

Well, I'm going to head off to bed now. Now, let the fun begin and the good times continue :D

Yesterday was Thanksgiving and it was pretty good. I have a lot of things to be thankful for and I'm blessed, so why ever frown...well unless something sad happens :( I got both my interviews recorded, got a quiz done and did some other homework. I went black friday shopping today so I haven't gotten as much done today minus buying project supplies and I got two more of my last assignments. I did get in 8ish hours on wednesday working and I'll be getting in a few more tomorrow (amount depending on what I get done tonight). I only managed to get two christmas presents today too :( I looked for the others, but between the crowds it was hard and some things I just couldn't find.


I still have a lot of homework left, but it's not the worst thing in the world looking at what I have left;

+Interview project-I've written one page so far, just nine more to go. (Tues)

+Lesson Plan-started on it, now I need to look up activites and SOL's for an exercise lesson for 4th graders (Mon)

+Read 340 page book(it's an easy read) and write a three page report on it (Wed)

+Design a kitchen...need to draw and label elevations, summarize clients interests, copy original drawings and keycode lighting and outlets, list appliances and types, poster board with types of curtains and tiles used (>< Tues)

+Laundry room design-honors project with all the above plus a floor plan. (Thurs)

+Write a 200 word paper on something about India (Sun)

+Start working on exam questions for nonwestern issues

+two five page papers for final exam in social history(uh...tuesday of next weekish?)


But the good news is after all this I just have one final exam to study for and a take-home test that just involves writing...and I have to write up my volunteer hours. I have an A in all but one of my five classes which is good. The B I can live with...you can't always be perfect.


Tonight I plan on doing elevations, summary and electrical/lighting for my project and finishing my lesson plan. I'll try to get at least halfway through my book to. Then tomorrow I'm going to work a few hours and come home and study. I'm worried about my cat, Shuji. He sprained his leg so he's resting and medicated, but I think it's wearing off since he's crying again :(

I came home after going shopping with a friend I haven't spent time with in a while today to a local farmers market. It was fun and I still can't find my Okra...but I found lots of nice things like spices which I'll be investing in shortly :)

I realized something important today...ok rather, wow I'm retarded. I'm kind of upset about something at the moment, but I hope I get over it quickly. At any rate, sorrow is not a good thing. And...I have way too many people that care to merit being sad over something not worth it. Yes, it sucks and it hurts...and I'm angry at myself and feel regret...but I'll feel better.

In the meantime I need to focus on being the best I can be and never stop being myself. I won't let shyness or rather fear in my case, or the past determine my present and future. I want to go into the world with a smile on my face even if I look like a good. I want to do more fun things than what I've been doing. I'm going to start by organizing a skating trip on saturday!

I also got my christmas monies today to spend. I think I know what I want to. I also have subbing tomorrow for theatre and afterwards I'm heading back to school for a thanksgiving dinner with friends :) Hm...and then I have a ton of papers to write which is rather lame. But next week I'll be subbing wednesday and helping my grandmother with an envelope job (21,000....ngh). It means extra money which will be saved for the future and also gift money ^_^

I think I'll end there for now. I'm starting to get a little sleepy now and I need to find an alarm clock since I left my celly at school once again.

It's after 10:30 on a late October night.  I'm coming down with the flu (medicines and naps seem to give me an hour boost) and I'm in a writing mood.  I've been stuck in my room all day except for when my mom and cousins wife came to visit.  I could tell I was sick when we went to mcdonalds at 11:30 and I said I wanted cinnaminis.  My mom firmly stated "It's 11:30, it's past breakfast!"  "uh..yeah.."  I've been tired, out of it, dizzy, queasy, and I've had headaches off and on.  Tis not a fun thing...and I didn't get much work done, ngh.

But...now its late and I feel like writing.  I didn't get all the costumes done for the play so my deadlines weren't met, but that's ok, I still have until Saturday.  Plus I have all my school work to do, I sub on friday, and I have so many other things going on.  I'm stressed and feeling run-down...but I have no one to blame but myself.  But, I'm doing all this work, acomplishing a lot and staying busy...so that's the right thing to do right?   I'm not goofing off...I'm being an adult and doing the right thing, but is it really the right thing to do.  What all am I missing out on?  The world can be comprised of those who work and those who goof off.  Well...maybe sometime I want to be the one to goof off and have fun.  But, I can't be the one to joke around because even when I want to someone calls me to do something.  Yet...I feel unappreciated for any of it.

Take earlier this week.  I'm doing costuming and additional work and I do have talents, but what praise do I get?  I have to deal with hearing the 'veterans' and those put on God-like pedstals get praised.  It hurts when someone is told "oh you're so chipper," or "Your a bible scholar" or "you're a jack of all trades".  What the frick?  By all means ignore the girl doing most of the work who is all those things, even more than the others, surely she doesn't have feelings.  *anger, anger*  I'm just as good as you...

So its been rough in that respect, because I feel I'm constantly competing aganist perfection and I have to be perfect (no one is, but its something to try for).  I mean...can't someone notice it and take appreciation for me?  I know this doesn't sound humble...but I'm hurt and feel unappreciated.  Why is it a popularity contest, why can't people see the truth?  Because...I'm humble and too nice and put others first so I'm the one who gets stepped on and thrown to the side.

But is it worth it to be the nice girl, the mother figure (I get called it enough), the smart, pretty, overachiever who puts others first?  Yes, of course it is. I just don't feel like it right now...I don't feel like any of it.  I had two friends say I was pretty this week and I denied it saying I didn't believe it.  A friend of mine also comments a lot that I'm nice.  Earlier this week he said it while leaving in his typical "well she's nice unlike you" tone and I sat and waited until he left and said "is that it?"  There's more to me than that...and being an overachiever.

I can't get praise at home...its not good enough for my parents to get awards, recognitions, straight A's and the likes.  Can't someone realize "hey, you're a great cook, sewer, jack of all trades, know the bible, go above and beyond etc?"  Or do I result to bragging?  I strive to do better all the time and be the best I can be...is this only for myself and God to see? 

This was not meant to be pessimistic.  I just want to be appreciated...and yet I am, but can I have a break maybe once?  And none of this probably makes sense...

I got up early this morning and headed to the barn around 10am after doing some things around the house.  On my walk (its rougly a mile and back to our barn and back) when I got to the barnyard where our chickens are-the mean rooster (other one was mean until my brother bopped him on the head...) was waiting for me.  I slowly approached where he was and went to his side.  He was about five feet from the entrance so I cautionously and quickly walked beside him which resulted in him chasing me into the barn (er...horse stable).   There's a spade hanging on a hook not long after you walk in so I grabbed it and pointed it towards the rooster.  He ruffled his feathers and debated attacking the shade for a while before retreating to the back.  I got a fair number of eggs this morning, but I was more excited to find six brown eggs yesterday morning (usually we get 2).  The rooster and I keep fighting and I usually have to get the broom so he won't attack me in the back (the other one got me in the throat).  He still attacks the broom though....then it was off to delivery eggs!



I finished the Harry Potter series the other week and I still can't stop thinking about it.  I would like to get the entire series myself so I'm debating...hardback or paperback.  In the end my favorite characters were the weasley twins, Sirirus, Snape, the weasley's, and Minerva.  It still feels like it ended all too soon even though it didn't.  I just can't believe it took me so long to read it, but now it's become my favorite book series and some of the best books I ever read.


I'm heading to my aunts on Saturday to work on some more (secret presents).  I really love her sewing machine.  5 hours of sewing and crafitness=happiness.  The headache that follows is not so fun.  I've been doing some by hand hemming lately too and I'm hoping to do full blown clothes designs in the near future.  I have designs drawn out...I just need to sit down and do them.


I'm glad that summer is almost over too :)  I head back in two weeks and I can't wait.  I miss my friends, I miss my clubs and I miss being in an academic setting...but mostly I miss my friends.  This year is going to be amazing too...ah I can't wait!!!

It's almost summer, but it's pretty chilly (brrr-curls up with her afghan).  I'm feeling a bit under the weather too (sinuses I think).  At least the sun is out today and it is a gorgeous day!  Oh well, soon the weather will be boiling hot and it'll be humid. 

    I'm in my second week of my history class and I'm really enjoying it.  I love history (and would've majored in it too had the head of the department said "an elementary teacher wouldn't benefit from history") so I got stuck with classes like textiles and historic costume (Family and Consumer Sciences major).  I had someone come up to me and start talking to me in German during the class and I was able to hold a convo in German.  I really do need to brush up on my German though...Japanese is still coming along.  I have around 300 pages to read per week (sometimes more since we have book reports) so it keeps me busy, but it's something that I love.

My family has chickens and I usually deliever eggs once a day.  I was happy to be able to visit and deliver eggs to a dear friend of mine.  She's an older woman, but she got me into theatre and was and still is the best teacher I ever had.  She was diagnosied with cancer right before relay for life, so I ran for her.  So hopefully during the summer I'll be able to visit with her and help her out (since she had surgery) like last year.

Tomorrow I'm off to the library to pick up some books to read for my history class and the first Harry Potter book.  I've never read any of the Harry Potter books and my friends keep recommending it so I'm going to give it a shot.  Hm...I should see the Rambo, Terminator, Indiana Jones movies and the wizard of Oz too.